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I can't meditate ...

August 22, 2015

A few weeks ago, a friend and fellow entrepreneur I respect told me about meditation, and the very positive and ethereal effects meditation has had on his life.  Telling me about something I don't know much about is like feeding crack to an addict - the learner in me has to dig in and learn more.  So I asked him about it, and he taught me, and I committed to practice daily.  

 

Guess how long that lasted?

 

Well, in the first week, I think I hit 5 out of 7 days.  The second week?  Once.  This is now the end of the third week and I've stuck out completely.  So I'm left wondering why.  Why can't I meditate?

 

I have a few guesses:

  • I don't get much out of it.  Those 5 minutes per day that I spent meditating didn't exactly yield much.  I wasn't particularly anxious or uptight to begin with, so maybe I shouldn't have expected a change.  But if I feel the same before, during, and after, why do it? I'm confused.

  • I'm doing it wrong. Maybe the reason nothing came from it was because I'm doing it wrong.  I thought I was pretty good at clearing my mind, concentrating on my breathing, allowing thoughts to take me for a moment but recognizing that and bringing it back to null space.  But who knows, I'm pre-novice at best, so what do I know?

  • I didn't try long enough. It could be that 5 minutes per day isn't enough, or that a few days isn't enough ... is meditation more like piano, requiring years of study and practice before you start to appreciate the result?

  • I didn't experience a learning curve. Or maybe the reason I stopped is because I couldn't distinguish between novice and expert at all.  As a beginining musical instrument player, you know when you're a novice - it sounds terrible and your loved ones run for the hills when you practice.  But every session moves you along a learning curve, noticeably so, and maybe that's just enough improvement to provide the motivation to try, try again. 

  • I'm not wired for it.  Then again, maybe it's just not something that works for me - in my innermost dystopian mind, perhaps there are just some things in this world that don't tickle my fancy, so why fight it?

 

I'm not really sure, but I do have this lingering feeling of failure with the whole experience.  For a guy not used that feeling, maybe the real end game here that humbling reminder.   Wait, did I just meditate?

 

 

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