I can't meditate ...
A few weeks ago, a friend and fellow entrepreneur I respect told me about meditation, and the very positive and ethereal effects meditation has had on his life. Telling me about something I don't know much about is like feeding crack to an addict - the learner in me has to dig in and learn more. So I asked him about it, and he taught me, and I committed to practice daily.
Guess how long that lasted?
Well, in the first week, I think I hit 5 out of 7 days. The second week? Once. This is now the end of the third week and I've stuck out completely. So I'm left wondering why. Why can't I meditate?
I have a few guesses:
I don't get much out of it. Those 5 minutes per day that I spent meditating didn't exactly yield much. I wasn't particularly anxious or uptight to begin with, so maybe I shouldn't have expected a change. But if I feel the same before, during, and after, why do it? I'm confused.
I'm doing it wrong. Maybe the reason nothing came from it was because I'm doing it wrong. I thought I was pretty good at clearing my mind, concentrating on my breathing, allowing thoughts to take me for a moment but recognizing that and bringing it back to null space. But who knows, I'm pre-novice at best, so what do I know?
I didn't try long enough. It could be that 5 minutes per day isn't enough, or that a few days isn't enough ... is meditation more like piano, requiring years of study and practice before you start to appreciate the result?
I didn't experience a learning curve. Or maybe the reason I stopped is because I couldn't distinguish between novice and expert at all. As a beginining musical instrument player, you know when you're a novice - it sounds terrible and your loved ones run for the hills when you practice. But every session moves you along a learning curve, noticeably so, and maybe that's just enough improvement to provide the motivation to try, try again.
I'm not wired for it. Then again, maybe it's just not something that works for me - in my innermost dystopian mind, perhaps there are just some things in this world that don't tickle my fancy, so why fight it?
I'm not really sure, but I do have this lingering feeling of failure with the whole experience. For a guy not used that feeling, maybe the real end game here that humbling reminder. Wait, did I just meditate?
