I can't meditate ...

A few weeks ago, a friend and fellow entrepreneur I respect told me about meditation, and the very positive and ethereal effects meditation has had on his life. Telling me about something I don't know much about is like feeding crack to an addict - the learner in me has to dig in and learn more. So I asked him about it, and he taught me, and I committed to practice daily.

Guess how long that lasted?

Well, in the first week, I think I hit 5 out of 7 days. The second week? Once. This is now the end of the third week and I've stuck out completely. So I'm left wondering why. Why can't I meditate?

I have a few guesses:

  • I don't get much out of it. Those 5 minutes per day that I spent meditating didn't exactly yield much. I wasn't particularly anxious or uptight to begin with, so maybe I shouldn't have expected a change. But if I feel the same before, during, and after, why do it? I'm confused.

  • I'm doing it wrong. Maybe the reason nothing came from it was because I'm doing it wrong. I thought I was pretty good at clearing my mind, concentrating on my breathing, allowing thoughts to take me for a moment but recognizing that and bringing it back to null space. But who knows, I'm pre-novice at best, so what do I know?

  • I didn't try long enough. It could be that 5 minutes per day isn't enough, or that a few days isn't enough ... is meditation more like piano, requiring years of study and practice before you start to appreciate the result?

  • I didn't experience a learning curve. Or maybe the reason I stopped is because I couldn't distinguish between novice and expert at all. As a beginining musical instrument player, you know when you're a novice - it sounds terrible and your loved ones run for the hills when you practice. But every session moves you along a learning curve, noticeably so, and maybe that's just enough improvement to provide the motivation to try, try again.

  • I'm not wired for it. Then again, maybe it's just not something that works for me - in my innermost dystopian mind, perhaps there are just some things in this world that don't tickle my fancy, so why fight it?

I'm not really sure, but I do have this lingering feeling of failure with the whole experience. For a guy not used that feeling, maybe the real end game here that humbling reminder. Wait, did I just meditate?


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